dear katy

Yesterday my dear, sweet Katlynn graduated. I could use the remainder of this post to ponder on how old that makes me feel (wait…I just did), and though I don’t quite resemble Steve Martin just yet, I’m sure I’ll get there before she graduates from Oklahoma State in a few years. Before that, though, and to keep myself from wallowing in the self-pity of old-age-itis, I wanted to dedicate a post to Katy. Afterall, the next few days should be all about her (I’ve even encouraged her to wear the button that Tatum got for her momma on Mother’s Day which reads: “Me! Me!! Me!!! It’s all about me!!!!!!”…at least for today). So, before I get carried away, I wanted to share a letter that is all about Katy and encourage anyone who reads this post to drop a comment in the comment section that is all about Katy as well…

Katy,

Over the last year I’ve been pondering what I would put in this letter. You knew something like this was coming (I think that interview at Starbucks kind of gave it away…not to mention that I kind of leaked I was working on the “Katy project”). Now it seems that it is time to get these notes into a cohesive letter (aka that “home-work” that I told you I had to work on…ironically enough for the same class…yeah, procrastination runs in the family, but I hear it wears off during college if you really work at it). Anyway, I think it’s time for me to start getting these thoughts in order and this letter finished. It’s time to let you know all the things that are right with you.

First, you are a true beauty, both on the outside and the inside. God has blessed you with a beautiful smile and a beautiful heart. You are a compassionate girl who will work hard to comfort her friends and you do everything you can to lift up others that are hurting. You even care enough to challenge others when you see that they might be doing something to hurt themselves. Don’t lose that courage. The world needs more true friends who care enough to speak up. Having a beautiful smile doesn’t hurt, either.

Second, (and this is rooted to the first…actually, most of these are) you are a deep and loyal friend. Those who get to know you, those that can break through your shy nature find this to be true: they can count on you to care. They can count on you to be there for them when they need you. They know that you will cry with them or laugh with them (or both). There is a downside to this, though. Not every friend is as loyal as you and that can really hurt, but this loyalty will be a blessing to the man you will marry someday. It will be (and has been) a blessing to anyone that calls you friend.

Third, you’ve got the brains, kid. I don’t know how many times over the last two years that you’ve asked for help on math and the only shot I had of finding the answer was to cheat with a formula in Excel or to try and Google it. I know…not a terribly good influence, but in my defense, my own brain usually went numb when you showed me the question you were working on. There is no doubt in my mind that you are ready for college. You’ve got this covered.

Fourth, you’re the baby whisperer. Someday, (hopefully not too soon…let’s say ten to twelve years); you will be an awesome mom to some lucky kid. I look forward to watching you care for your baby when that time comes. I catch glimpses of it now when you play with Tatum or babysit or volunteer at church; little glimmers of what the future will hold. When the time comes, you’ll be a natural.

Fifth, you are driven to do well. Very early on, you set your sights on college. You honed in on your school work and you were determined to do well in high school so that you could make college a reality. Your dreams may have changed, but your drive has not. It’s a little scary now that the reality of being a Cowboy (girl?) is so close, but I know that you will do fine. That same drive will see you through to another graduation in a couple of years.

There you have it. Five things that are right about you, five things that make me proud of being your dad. Oklahoma State is going to be very lucky to have you, and so will all the friends that you make in the next few years. Don’t give up on your dreams, kiddo. That drive that God has blessed you with has gotten you this far. He will see you through to the end.

-Dad

’cause I not

This has been a difficult blog to write, and I’m not quite sure why. I’ve been mulling over most of this stuff for awhile now. Stewing on it in my head, but that’s where some things stay far too long, ruminating…overcooking at times. Katy is starting her last year of high school; the mail box is full of college letters and informational brochures. Maddy is going into her last year of elementary school and Irelynn is entering the fourth grade, her first year as an upper classmen (as far as elementary schools are concerned). To top it off, the Tater Monster is entering pre-school. It’s enough to make a man feel older than his years. Much older.

Daireth cautions me when I get into these sentimental, sappy-prone moments. She’ll usually say, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Klein.” She likes to call me Klein when I, well….get ahead of myself and let the latest milestones lead me to think of milestones that are yet to come, like college and marriage and grandbabies. You know, the milestones that play a huge role (if not outright causing) gray hairs, male-pattern baldness and bleeding ulcers (which, thankfully, I haven’t suffered from…yet).

Right now, though, it’s hard to reign these thoughts in. This time next year, Katy will be preparing to move out and go to college. She’ll be packing up and shipping out. I’ll joke about renting out her 100 sq ft of space (big family, small house), but it’s only a joke. I’ll miss her finding her way into the living room just to chat when I’m in the middle of watching a show. I’ll miss her bumming rides off us when her car breaks down (and pray that it doesn’t break down at college next year). I’ll miss staying up till midnight when she’s working the late-shift at Harkins.

I guess that is what it really boils down to. When these milestones are reached or when we can see them on the horizon, it’s hard not to think of what will be rather than just letting be. Thoughts of what we’ll miss begin to surface, and if we’re wise, we make time to soak it in. We begin to cherish those quirky things rather than being annoyed by them. Like Katy’s tendency to wander into the living room to have a conversation about people I don’t really know just as I get the opportunity to sit and enjoy a show; like Daireth’s tendency to pick through her fried rice to eat the beef or chicken while leaving most of the fried rice (which in itself reminds me of Tatum’s tendency to pick out all the marshmallows from her Lucky Charms without eating any of the other charms…does anyone ever really eat those other charms). Those things that annoy become those things that we love and the things we’ll miss.

Don’t get ahead of yourself, Klein. Katy will still be here for one more year. One more year of prime-time TV interruptions. One more year to soak it all in. Tatum has a catch phrase that I’ve been thinking about lately. She uses it in just about every situation where she doesn’t agree with you. The phrase is “’cause I not” and usually means “I don’t want to”. It’s one of her quirky sayings that we find endearing and problematic at the same time. We want to teach her to actually say what she means, but we know we’ll miss it when she doesn’t say it anymore. But while we continue to teach her proper English, I kind of like the phrase. It feels appropriate when thinking about Katy being a senior. I know that I can’t turn back time or freeze these moments. I know Katy will be on the way out this time next year, traveling to the university that will house her for the majority of the next four years. I know this, but I don’t like it much. I know it’s good for her, but I just don’t want to let her go…’cause I not.